Four Contradictory Resurrection Accounts?

Recently, an atheist skeptic in the local newspaper issued a challenge: produce from the four gospels a "coherent narrative or chronology of events for Easter Sunday." My response, which will have to be drastically reduced for publication in the local press, is as follows. First, Jesus rose from the dead (no one witnessed the actual event, because it happened inside the tomb), which event was accompanied by an earthquake, the descent of the angel, the rolling away of the stone, and the fleeing...