Positive Direction
Punish your children when they continue in wrong doing. Punish them even though it hurts you more than it does them. Do not try to hide the pain in your heart when you do it. Punish them thoroughly, finish it, do not stop short no matter how you dislike doing it. And now you are still not finished. You have gained nothing yet. Now comes the positive part. Discuss the wrong, why it is wrong, and what would have been the right behavior in the situation. How much happier everyone involved...